The short answer
Neither, necessarily. A move in the second year can be a move toward something you want, and not only away from the grief.
A move can still cost you neighbors, doctors and friends, so it helps to try the place before you commit. If you own your home, ask a tax preparer before you sell. The tax rule on selling has a date tied to his death.
This chapter explains how things usually work in the United States. It is not legal, tax or financial advice, and the rules where you live may differ. Before you act on anything here, check it with one of the people named at the end of the chapter.
What to do
- Write down, in one sentence, what you are moving toward.
- List what you would leave behind: people, doctors, routines.
- Stay in the new place for a month, or rent there, before you buy.
- Ask a tax preparer about the home-sale date before you list your home.
- Ask Social Security before any move abroad, and report every change of address.
- Find one group to join in the new place before you arrive.
What can wait
- Buying. You can rent and visit for as long as you need.
- Selling, once you have asked a tax preparer what the date means for you.
- Telling everyone. You can keep your thinking to yourself, or share it with one person, until you are ready.
- Deciding about every piece of furniture before you know the new space.
Who can help
- A tax preparer for the sale, and a fee-only financial planner for the numbers.
- The Eldercare Locator, 1-800-677-1116 or eldercare.acl.gov, for senior services where you live now or where you might move.
- Your doctor or a counselor, if the decision feels heavier than a decision should. Where to get help tonight, at the back of this book, lists people you can reach at any hour.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’ own pages in October 2026. They change, so check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 7: Year Two
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 9. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers months 15 to 24.
Hear when the next book is out
Five or six short emails a year at most, and a note when a new book is out. Each one is about something that tends to come up in the first two years. You can unsubscribe whenever you like.