The short answer
Sometimes it is, and some widows who moved in the first year were glad they did. A hurried move can also bring the grief along, and leave behind the neighbors, routines and help you lean on without noticing.
Nobody can tell you how likely regret is. Knowing what can go wrong, and which reasons held up for widows who moved early, lets you test your own reasons before you sign anything.
What to do
- Write down every reason you want to move, one to a line.
- Mark each reason "toward" or "away."
- Talk to a widow who moved and one who stayed. A grief group is one place to find them.
- Spend a month in the new place before you buy, if you can.
- Ask of each reason whether it will still be true in a year.
- Ask a tax preparer about the rules tied to the date of his death before you list, if you own the house.
- Pack anything of his you are unsure about in a box marked Not yet.
What can wait
- Listing the house, if you own it, unless one of the real clocks in Do I have to decide about the house now? applies to you.
- Viewing other homes. Your list of reasons can come first.
- Clearing his things to fit a smaller space you have not chosen yet.
Who can help
If the house itself has become unbearable, a grief counselor can help you think it through. Your doctor is worth telling if you are not sleeping or eating.
A grief group can put you in touch with widows who moved and widows who stayed. The hospice, if there was one, may know of a group near you.
If you have thoughts of not wanting to be here, tell someone today. You can call or text 988, or chat at chat.988lifeline.org. It is for anyone who is struggling, and you do not have to be suicidal to reach out.
For most people who have these thoughts, support and treatment work. If the thoughts feel like a plan, call or text 988 now.
You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. The Veterans Crisis Line is 988, then press 1, or text 838255, and it also serves families and friends. Where to get help tonight, at the back of this book, lists every line.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’ own pages in October 2026. They change, so check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 3: The House and the Things
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 2. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers months 3 to 12.
Hear when the next book is out
Five or six short emails a year at most, and a note when a new book is out. Each one is about something that tends to come up in the first two years. You can unsubscribe whenever you like.