What is a widow?
A widow is a woman whose husband or wife has died. The word says nothing about her age, how long she was married, or how long ago he died.
A woman is a widow from the day her spouse dies, whether that was last week or thirty years ago. Nothing has to be filed for the word to apply.
What is a widower?
A widower is a man whose wife or husband has died. It is the same word as widow, for a man.
There is no other term for it. If you are looking for the male version of widow, the word is widower.
What does widowed mean?
Widowed is a marital status. It means your spouse has died and you have not remarried.
It is the word on forms, in the list with single, married, divorced and separated. Someone who remarries is usually asked to put married instead. If a form asks and you are not sure which box fits, you can ask the office that sent it.
Widow or widower: is there a difference?
The only difference is the word. Widow is used of a woman, widower of a man.
Forms and agencies mostly use neither. They ask about a surviving spouse, and the rules they apply are written that way.
What is a surviving spouse?
Surviving spouse is the term Social Security, pension plans, insurers and tax forms use for the husband or wife who is still living.
You will hear it on the phone and see it on forms. If a letter asks whether you are the surviving spouse, it is asking whether you are his widow.
What each of those offices does with the answer differs, and so do the questions worth asking them. Those are in Book 2, The Money.
If you don’t like the word
Some widows say they dislike being called one, and would rather not have a word for it at all. Others use it plainly from the start. Both are ordinary.
What you call yourself is yours to decide, and you can change your mind. A form is a different matter. It wants the status that matches the rules, whatever you would call yourself.
The other words
After a death, the words come quickly: probate, basis, beneficiary, certified copy, COBRA. Each one is explained plainly in the glossary, which covers the terms from all eight books.
- The free checklist for the first two weeks: who to call, and what can wait. No sign-up.
- All 96 questions the books answer, each with a short answer.
- For family and friends: which book to give, and what helps besides a book.