Some of the decisions you make this year are very hard to undo.
Survivor benefits, a pension that may or may not continue, accounts in his name, an insurance claim, and a tax return that will look different from every one before it. Several have a deadline, and some have a trap.
This book does not tell you what to claim. It tells you what exists, which questions to bring, and who can answer them, so that when you sit down with someone, you already know what to ask.
- Survivor benefits: the choices, and why the first number you hear is for one starting date only
- Pensions, retirement accounts, life insurance and bank accounts: what changes hands, and what waits
- Health insurance and Medicare: the deadline that can bring a lifelong penalty if it is missed
- The tax return for the year he died, and the home-sale rule with a two-year clock
- The three decisions some widows wait a year on, and how to tell real deadlines from pressure
- How to check an adviser before you trust one, with the regulators' own questions
Written in short chapters for someone who can read a little at a time. Every chapter opens with the question you are actually asking and gives the short answer first.
Inside: every chapter, and its short answer
Each chapter opens like this. The rest of it explains what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. It ends with what to do, what can wait, and where to find help.
1 Where do I stand right now?
“I don't even know how much money we have, or what's coming in.”
Before any decision, make one page: what income stopped, what continues, what may start, what you own, what you owe, and what you don't know yet.
Everything else in this book is a decision made on top of that page.
2 What happens with Social Security?
“Social Security told me a number on the phone. Is that what I get?”
It may be one of several. Survivor benefits depend on his work record, your age when you start, and your own benefit. Sometimes you can take one benefit first and switch to the other later.
Ask for the figures at more than one age, in writing, before you choose.
3 Will his pension keep paying, and what about his service?
“His pension letter says something about a survivor option. What does that mean for me?”
It depends on a choice made when his pension started, and that choice usually cannot be changed now. The plan can tell you exactly what was chosen and what, if anything, you will receive. Ask for it in writing.
4 What do I do with his retirement accounts?
“There's an IRA and a 401(k) in his name. Do I have to do something with them?”
Usually not right away, but the choice is hard to reverse. A surviving spouse often has more than one way to receive these accounts. Which one suits you depends on your age and on when you will need the money.
Ask before you move anything. One question is worth asking right away: whether he still had a withdrawal to take for the year he died.
5 How do I claim the life insurance?
“The insurance company sent forms with options for how to be paid. Which do I pick?”
You don't have to pick in a hurry. Claiming is usually simple: a form and a certified copy of the death certificate.
How the money is paid out is a real choice, and some choices may be hard to undo once you sign. Ask what each option means, in writing, before you sign anything.
6 What happens to our bank accounts?
“The bank froze his account. Can I get to our money?”
Usually yes, for an account in both your names. How each account was set up decides what happens to it.
Most joint accounts pass to you, though not all. An account with a named beneficiary goes to that person. An account in his name alone often waits for the executor, and the bank can tell you which kind each one is.
7 Do I have to pay his debts?
“A collection agency says I'm responsible for his credit card. Am I?”
You're generally not responsible for his debts. They are paid from his estate, and if the estate can't pay, the debt usually goes unpaid.
There are four exceptions. Whether one applies to you depends on how each account was set up and on your state. Ask a lawyer before you pay anything of his from your own money.
8 What happens to the house and the car?
“The mortgage is in his name. Can they take the house?”
Generally, not just because he died. Federal law generally stops a lender from calling the whole mortgage due because the home passed to you at his death, if you live there. Once the servicer confirms you as its “successor in interest”, you have the same servicing protections as a borrower.
A reverse mortgage follows different rules, and it is the one part of this chapter that should not wait. For everything else, what happens depends on how the deed was written, so find out.
9 Will I still have health insurance?
“I was on his insurance through work. Am I still covered?”
Maybe not for long. Coverage through his job can end, and the ways to keep or replace it have time limits. Find out this week exactly when yours ends and what your options are.
If you are 65 or over, know this before you choose anything. COBRA does not protect you from Medicare's late penalties, and a late Part B penalty usually lasts as long as you have Part B.
10 What changes with taxes this year?
“He always did the taxes. What do I file this year?”
More than usual, but not all at once. There will be a final return for his part of the year, and you can usually still file jointly for the year he died.
Find a preparer early, and keep every tax form that arrives in his name.
11 What should I not decide yet?
“Everyone has advice about what I should do with the money. How do I know what's actually urgent?”
Very little of it is urgent. A few things have real deadlines, and this chapter puts them in one list, each with the chapter that explains it.
Three big decisions usually have no deadline and are hard to undo. They are selling or buying a home, deciding what to do with a large sum, and lending or giving money to family.
Some widows say they waited a year on all three. You can do the same, or take less time, or more.
12 Who can I trust to help with money?
“His adviser called. I don't know whether to trust him. How do I find someone?”
Look for someone you pay directly, not someone paid by what they sell you, who will promise in writing to act in your interest at all times.
Different questions need different people. You can check an adviser's record before you share anything, and you are allowed to ask his adviser the same questions as anyone else.
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