The short answer
Before any decision, make one page: what income stopped, what continues, what may start, what you own, what you owe, and what you don't know yet.
Everything else in this book is a decision made on top of that page.
This chapter explains how things usually work in the United States. It is not legal, tax or financial advice, and the rules where you live may differ. Before you act on anything here, check it with one of the people named at the end of the chapter.
What to do
- Get the last three months of statements for every account.
- Fill in the six columns, leaving blanks where you don't know.
- Mark where the next ninety days of bills will be paid from.
- Open anything from Social Security, a pension plan, a health plan, Medicare or an insurer on the day it arrives.
- Write each Don't know yet item in its office's row of the table at the back, with your question.
- Keep the map in the front of the folder.
- Update it once a month.
What can wait
- Filling every blank. The Don't know yet column can stay long for months.
- Any decision about investments.
- Working out what the house, the car or anything else is worth. Keep every statement for the month he died, though; What changes with taxes this year? explains why. Dated letters are not on this list. Open them the day they arrive.
Who can help
A fee-only financial planner, paid by you rather than by what they sell, can go through the page with you. The National Association of Personal Financial Advisors has a “Find an Advisor” search for fee-only financial planners at napfa.org. A helper, or a librarian at your public library, can run that search with you.
A trusted family member or friend can sit with you while you fill it in. If there is no one, the planner above can. You don't have to show them every line.
If the money is not the only thing that feels too heavy tonight, turn to Where to get help tonight at the back of this book.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’ own pages in October 2026. They change, so check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 2: The Money
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 1. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers months 1 to 6.
Hear when the next book is out
Five or six short emails a year at most, and a note when a new book is out. Each one is about something that tends to come up in the first two years. You can unsubscribe whenever you like.