Book 1: The First 30 Days

The first month. Who to call, what to find, what can wait.

1. Where do I even start?
2. Who can help me with all this?
3. What happens with the funeral home?
4. How many death certificates do I need?
5. What has to happen this week?
6. What about everyone else I'm supposed to call?
7. Where are the papers?
8. Is there a will, and what do I do with it?
9. Which bills do I keep paying, and which do I stop?
10. How do I keep the house, and myself, safe right now?
11. Why can't I think straight?
12. What can wait, and for how long?

Book 2: The Money

Months 1 to 6. Survivor benefits, accounts, insurance.

1. Where do I stand right now?
2. What happens with Social Security?
3. Will his pension keep paying, and what about his service?
4. What do I do with his retirement accounts?
5. How do I claim the life insurance?
6. What happens to our bank accounts?
7. Do I have to pay his debts?
8. What happens to the house and the car?
9. Will I still have health insurance?
10. What changes with taxes this year?
11. What should I not decide yet?
12. Who can I trust to help with money?

Book 3: The House and the Things

Months 3 to 12. Stay or sell, and clearing a life.

1. Do I have to decide about the house now?
2. What if I want to move right away?
3. Can I afford to stay?
4. Can I manage the house on my own?
5. If I moved, where would I go?
6. Whose decision is it?
7. When should I start on his things?
8. How do I clear his things without clearing him out?
9. Who should get what?
10. What do I do when someone takes something?
11. What is it all worth, and how do I sell it?
12. What about everything nobody wants?

Book 4: Everything They Handled

Months 1 to 9. The practical jobs that are now yours.

1. What did he actually do around here?
2. How do I find every account he had?
3. How do I get into his phone, computer and email?
4. How do I keep track of the bills?
5. How do I look after the car?
6. What does the house need, and when?
7. Learn it, hire it, or leave it?
8. How do I hire someone without being taken advantage of?
9. Who is trying to scam me?
10. What about the paperwork he did every year?
11. What if I was the one who handled everything?
12. What if something happens to me?

Book 5: The First Year

Months 6 to 15. Anniversaries, holidays, the hardest months.

1. Why can month six feel lonelier than month one?
2. What do I do with the evenings and weekends?
3. Is what I'm feeling normal?
4. How do I get through his birthday, our anniversary, and the day he died?
5. What do I do about the holidays?
6. Why can't I sleep, and why don't I eat?
7. Should I talk to my doctor about this?
8. What about the days that have no reason?
9. Shouldn't I be better by now?
10. What do I do about the headstone and the ashes?
11. Would a grief group or counselor help?
12. What happens when the year is over?

Book 6: The People Around You

Months 3 to 18. Family, friends, and who disappears.

1. Why are people acting so strangely around me?
2. Why do people say such terrible things?
3. Why have our couple friends drifted away?
4. How do I keep the friends worth keeping?
5. How do I help my children while they grieve too?
6. How do I talk to my children about money?
7. How do I talk to my children about the house?
8. What do I tell my children about me?
9. What about his family, and his children from before?
10. Where do I find other widows?
11. How do I make new friends at this age?
12. What about being alone?

Book 7: Year Two

Months 15 to 24. Rebuilding a life that is yours.

1. Why does the second year feel so strange?
2. Who am I, if I'm not his wife?
3. Do I keep wearing the ring?
4. Whose house is it now?
5. What do I actually want?
6. Should I go back to work, or start something?
7. Would volunteering help?
8. Can I travel on my own?
9. Should I move somewhere new?
10. Why do I feel guilty for feeling better?
11. How do I keep him with me?
12. What do I want the next ten years to look like?

Book 8: Someone New

Month 18 and after. Companionship after loss, and what people may say.

1. Is it too soon to want someone?
2. What do I actually want: a friend, a companion, or more?
3. Where do people my age meet someone?
4. How do I date after forty years?
5. How do I stay safe online?
6. What about being close to someone again?
7. What will my children say?
8. How do I tell my children?
9. What will everyone else think?
10. If it gets serious, what happens to the money?
11. What happens to the house and the will?
12. Can I love someone new and still love him?