The short answer
Yes. You can love someone new and still love your husband, and neither love has to shrink to make room for the other. Some widows describe keeping a bond with their husband while they are in a new relationship.
A good partner can understand that your marriage is part of who you are. And if you choose to stay on your own, that is a full life too.
What to do
- Keep the photographs and dates that matter to you.
- Tell your partner, if you have one, what your husband means to you and which days are his.
- Ask about your partner's past, too, including anyone they have lost.
- Write both sets of anniversaries on one calendar, if your partner was widowed too.
- Say once, calmly, that you are not looking, if staying on your own is your answer.
- Let both loves be true at once.
What can wait
Who can help
A widows' group or a grief group can be good company for talking about loving two people, or staying on your own.
A counselor can help with guilt or grief that won't lift, on your own or with your partner. You can find one through SAMHSA's findtreatment.gov, which lists mental health care as well as addiction services, or through your plan's directory.
If you have thoughts of not wanting to be here, tell someone today. You can call or text 988, or chat at chat.988lifeline.org. It is for anyone who is struggling, and you do not have to be suicidal to reach out.
For most people who have these thoughts, support and treatment work. If the thoughts feel like a plan, call or text 988 now.
You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. The Veterans Crisis Line is 988, then press 1, or text 838255, and it also serves families and friends. Where to get help tonight, at the back of this book, lists every line.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’ own pages in October 2026. They change, so check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 8: Someone New
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 12. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers month 18 and after.
Hear when the next book is out
Five or six short emails a year at most, and a note when a new book is out. Each one is about something that tends to come up in the first two years. You can unsubscribe whenever you like.