The short answer
Wear it, move it, put it away, or have it made into something else. None of these is a statement about how much you loved him, and none has a deadline.
The same is true of the other small decisions here: what to be called, what to say when asked, the photographs, his side of the bed. You can take them one at a time, in any order, or leave them all where they are.
What to do
- List the small decisions you keep noticing.
- Choose one to change, or to keep on purpose.
- Write down one answer to Are you married? and keep it where you can find it.
- Save a copy of his voice, if you want one, before you change any greeting.
- Ask a jeweler what is possible, if you are thinking of changing the ring.
- Change the next one only when you want to.
What can wait
Who can help
A jeweler can tell you what is possible if you want the ring resized, reset or made into something new. Ask for a written description of the ring and the work before you leave it.
Other widows further along may have faced the same small decisions. A grief group or a counselor can give you somewhere to talk them through.
If the hard days are getting heavier, Where to get help tonight, at the back of this book, has the numbers to call.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’ own pages in October 2026. They change, so check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 7: Year Two
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 3. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers months 15 to 24.
Hear when the next book is out
Five or six short emails a year at most, and a note when a new book is out. Each one is about something that tends to come up in the first two years. You can unsubscribe whenever you like.