The short answer
You can keep the things that hold him without keeping everything he owned. Work in one small area at a time, and sort what you find into five boxes. One of them is a Not yet box, for anything you cannot decide.
Then choose one corner, shelf or chair in your home that stays his, on purpose. The rest of the house can change around it.
If you are still deciding whether to begin at all, When should I start on his things? comes first. What follows is for the day you want to start.
What to do
- Choose one small area, such as a drawer or a shelf.
- Set out five boxes: Keep, Give, Donate, Throw away, Not yet.
- Ask of each thing, Does this hold him, or did it simply belong to him?
- Photograph what you will miss, and anything that might be valuable.
- Stop after an hour, or sooner.
- Make one place in your home his, on purpose.
- Look in the Not yet box again in six months.
What can wait
- The Not yet box. It can stay shut for as long as you need.
- Large furniture, such as his desk and his chair.
- His papers and devices. Set them aside in one box, and leave the sorting for later.
- Anything that might be valuable, until you have asked the executor.
Who can help
A friend who will sit with you, carry the boxes and not hurry you is the first help.
A professional organizer, through the NAPO directory, or a senior move manager, through the NASMM directory, can help if you have no one, or would rather pay.
If sorting brings up more than you can carry, a grief group or a counselor can help. Where to get help tonight, at the back of this book, lists who to call at any hour.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’ own pages in October 2026. They change, so check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 3: The House and the Things
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 8. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers months 3 to 12.
Hear when the next book is out
Five or six short emails a year at most, and a note when a new book is out. Each one is about something that tends to come up in the first two years. You can unsubscribe whenever you like.