The short answer
Give them a shape. The hours the two of you shared can be the hardest, because nothing fills them on its own. A few fixed points, decided ahead, can carry you further than willpower will.
A shape is a handful of things you can count on each week, with plenty of empty room around them. You don't have to fill the rest.
What to do
- List the hours of the week that are hardest for you.
- Put one fixed point in each of them, starting with the hardest.
- Plan the weekend by Thursday, with a second, easier plan beside it.
- Make one standing arrangement with someone, every week: a call, a walk or a meal.
- Ask a senior center, your library or the Eldercare Locator, 1-800-677-1116, what runs near you.
- Say yes to the next invitation you can manage, and leave when you want to.
What can wait
- Filling every hour. An evening with nothing planned in it is allowed.
- Deciding for good what to do with the routines you shared. You can try one way this year and another next year.
- Getting a pet, if you don't have one.
Who can help
If the evenings have become hours you can't get through, tell your doctor, or someone you trust, how they are going.
The Eldercare Locator, 1-800-677-1116 or eldercare.acl.gov, finds your local Area Agency on Aging, and you can ask there what runs near you. A senior center, your public library, or a faith community if you have one, can tell you what meets in the evenings and on weekends.
An evening can feel like more than loneliness. If it does, What about the days that have no reason? covers what to do. Where to get help tonight, at the back of this book, lists who to call.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’ own pages in October 2026. They change, so check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 5: The First Year
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 2. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers months 6 to 15.
Hear when the next book is out
Five or six short emails a year at most, and a note when a new book is out. Each one is about something that tends to come up in the first two years. You can unsubscribe whenever you like.