The short answer
You don't have to know yet. You can start small, and notice what catches your attention.
Wanting can come back slowly, often in small things first. When it does, work, volunteering, travel and moving are four things some widows try.
Each can be tried in a small version before you commit to anything. Resting, and staying where you are, are choices too.
What to do
- Write down five things you are even slightly curious about.
- Try the smallest version of one this month, if you feel up to it.
- Notice how you feel afterward, not during.
- Cross off anything you only wanted for him.
- Look at the four moves and choose one to read about, if any of them appeals.
What can wait
- Any big commitment, such as a full-time job, a long lease or a long trip.
- Knowing what you want. It can arrive in pieces.
- Explaining your plans to anyone.
Who can help
Your public library, a community college or a senior center can give you things to try at little cost. The Eldercare Locator, 1-800-677-1116 or eldercare.acl.gov, can find a senior center near you.
If the days feel heavy as well as empty, tell your doctor or a counselor.
If you have thoughts of not wanting to be here, tell someone today. You can call or text 988, or chat at chat.988lifeline.org. It is for anyone who is struggling, and you do not have to be suicidal to reach out.
For most people who have these thoughts, support and treatment work. If the thoughts feel like a plan, call or text 988 now.
You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. The Veterans Crisis Line is 988, then press 1, or text 838255, and it also serves families and friends. Where to get help tonight, at the back of this book, lists every line.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’ own pages in October 2026. They change, so check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 7: Year Two
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 5. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers months 15 to 24.
Hear when the next book is out
Five or six short emails a year at most, and a note when a new book is out. Each one is about something that tends to come up in the first two years. You can unsubscribe whenever you like.