The short answer
Yes, it is a thing. Friendship, companionship and dating are three different things, and naming which one you want changes where you look, what you say, and what you agree to.
None of the three is better than the others, and none has to lead to the next. You can change your mind later, in either direction.
What to do
- Write down which of the three you want right now: a friend, a companion, or dating.
- Write down what you don't want, even if it is only three lines.
- Practice saying what you want in one sentence, out loud, at home.
- Say it early to anyone new you spend time with.
- Look at what you wrote again in six months, and change it if it has changed.
What can wait
- Any decision about marriage or living together.
- Choosing a name for what you have. You need one only when someone asks.
- Being certain about any of it.
Who can help
Other widows who have tried friendship, companionship or dating can tell you what it was like for them. A widows' group, a grief group or a friend who has done it can be a good place to ask.
A counselor can help you sort out what you want, if it keeps shifting or you feel stuck. You can find one through SAMHSA's findtreatment.gov, which covers mental health as well as addiction, or through your plan's directory. A helper, or a librarian at your public library, can do this with you.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’ own pages in October 2026. They change, so check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 8: Someone New
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 2. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers month 18 and after.
Hear when the next book is out
Five or six short emails a year at most, and a note when a new book is out. Each one is about something that tends to come up in the first two years. You can unsubscribe whenever you like.