The short answer
No. There is no right time to want company, and wanting it again is not a betrayal of him.
Some widows are surprised to want someone again, sometimes after saying they never would. You may also never want another relationship, and be glad of that. Both are ordinary, and both are allowed.
What to do
- Write down what you actually miss, and read the list again in a week or two.
- Say it out loud to one person you trust.
- Set aside anyone else's timeline, including the one in your own head.
- Say no to any setup or suggestion you don't want, as plainly as you like.
- Send no money to anyone you have not met in person, whatever the reason.
- Read the next chapter before doing anything else, What do I actually want: a friend, a companion, or more?
What can wait
Who can help
A counselor is someone to talk to if guilt, about wanting company or about not wanting it, won't ease. If you have Medicare, Part B helps pay for outpatient mental health care, and since 2024 that includes marriage and family therapists and mental health counselors. You pay a share.
To find one, you can use SAMHSA's findtreatment.gov, which covers mental health as well as addiction, or your plan's own directory. A helper, or a librarian at your public library, can do this with you.
Other widows can be easier to say this to than family. Book 6, The People Around You, covers finding them in Where do I find other widows?
If you have thoughts of not wanting to be here, tell someone today. You can call or text 988, or chat at chat.988lifeline.org. It is for anyone who is struggling, and you do not have to be suicidal to reach out.
For most people who have these thoughts, support and treatment work. If the thoughts feel like a plan, call or text 988 now.
You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. The Veterans Crisis Line is 988, then press 1, or text 838255, and it also serves families and friends. Where to get help tonight, at the back of this book, lists every line.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’ own pages in October 2026. They change, so check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 8: Someone New
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 1. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers month 18 and after.
Hear when the next book is out
Five or six short emails a year at most, and a note when a new book is out. Each one is about something that tends to come up in the first two years. You can unsubscribe whenever you like.