The short answer
His family may be grieving too, and grief and money together can bring out hard feelings in anyone. You can't control how they grieve, and you don't have to settle it for them.
You can decide which relationships you want to keep, and invite those people. Anything about the estate can stay with the executor and the lawyer, away from the dinner table.
This chapter explains how things usually work in the United States. It is not legal, tax or financial advice, and the rules where you live may differ. Before you act on anything here, check it with one of the people named at the end of the chapter.
What to do
- Decide which of his family you want to stay close to.
- Invite each of them to one thing, on a specific day.
- Keep estate questions with the executor and the lawyer.
- Set a limit on what you will discuss with his family.
- Talk to a probate or estate lawyer early if anyone disputes the will.
What can wait
- Repairing every relationship.
- Deciding whether someone's silence is for good.
- Choosing how to spend next year's holidays with his side.
Who can help
A probate or estate lawyer in your state can answer questions about the will and who inherits. The ABA directory finds your state and local bar's referral service at americanbar.org/directories/lawyer-referral-directory, and lsc.gov finds free civil legal aid for people on low incomes. A helper, or a librarian at your public library, can do this with you.
A private family mediator can help when the family can't talk without a fight. Start with your own state court's "find a mediator" or dispute resolution page, since there is no single national directory. Some state courts explain that community mediation centers offer free or low-cost help.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’ own pages in October 2026. They change, so check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 6: The People Around You
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 9. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers months 3 to 18.
Hear when the next book is out
Five or six short emails a year at most, and a note when a new book is out. Each one is about something that tends to come up in the first two years. You can unsubscribe whenever you like.