The short answer
Have the conversation once, with everyone. Start by telling them what you have decided about deciding: when the decision will be made, and by whom.
Hearing each of them out does not mean doing what any of them says. You can listen to every view and still make the choice yourself, on your own date.
If you have no children, read this for whoever keeps raising the house: a niece, a nephew, his family, or a friend who has stepped in.
What to do
- Fill in the house part of Three conversations with my children before the day.
- Hold one family conversation about the house, with everyone.
- Say first what you have decided about deciding.
- Hear each view without answering it then.
- Write down what each child said.
- Tell them when you will decide.
What can wait
- The decision itself, until the date you set, unless a real deadline comes first.
- Answering any one child's view.
- Getting your children to agree with each other.
Who can help
If the family can't talk about the house without a fight, a private family mediator can help. Start with your own state court's "find a mediator" or dispute resolution page, since there is no single national directory. Some state courts explain that community mediation centers offer free or low-cost help.
A helper, or a librarian at your public library, can help you find the page.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’ own pages in October 2026. They change, so check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 6: The People Around You
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 7. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers months 3 to 18.
Hear when the next book is out
Five or six short emails a year at most, and a note when a new book is out. Each one is about something that tends to come up in the first two years. You can unsubscribe whenever you like.