The short answer
You decide what they know. It can help to tell your children that there is a plan, even without the details, and to keep your own accounts in your own control. Gifts and loans can wait.
This chapter explains how things usually work in the United States. It is not legal, tax or financial advice, and the rules where you live may differ. Before you act on anything here, check it with one of the people named at the end of the chapter.
What to do
- Decide what you want your children to know before the conversation.
- Tell them there is a plan, even if you keep the details.
- Answer requests for gifts or loans with not this year, if you want time.
- Choose, with a lawyer, who would help if you couldn't manage.
- Set up Advance Designation with Social Security separately, if you receive or are applying for benefits.
- Ask your bank whether it offers a trusted contact, and what it would do if it suspected that person.
- Keep your own accounts, logins and passwords in your own control.
What can wait
Who can help
An estate lawyer can explain a power of attorney and your other papers. A fee-only financial planner can help you think through a request, and you can ask whether they would join a family meeting.
If you are worried about yourself or someone else, reach Adult Protective Services through the Eldercare Locator, 1-800-677-1116, or the Justice Department's Neighborhood Resources page. If you are 60 or over, the National Elder Fraud Hotline, 1-833-FRAUD-11 (1-833-372-8311), gives you a case manager. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911.
The rules, phone numbers and web addresses in this book were checked against the agencies’ own pages in October 2026. They change, so check anything you rely on with the office itself.
From Book 6: The People Around You
This page has the short answer and the closing lists from chapter 6. The full chapter explains, in plain words, what exists, what to ask, and who can answer. The book covers months 3 to 18.
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